Forgiveness

Am I being forgive? Or being punish?
I am not sure.
Learning how to forgive people,
then you will be forgiven.
However something is going to stay with me,
I have to learn how to live with it.
Do I born with it which runs in the family?
How am I going to deal with it with the rest of my life?
I wasn't like that before.
What is wrong with me?
Why I put myself in this situation.
I was once promised myself that I would never put myself in a difficult situation.
Then now what...
I broke my promise.